He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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