Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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