Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
