he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
