Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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