I hate all girls vehemently.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
