her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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