All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
