I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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