Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
