addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Even my vagina gasped.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
