He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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