even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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