turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
