..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my sisters under your porch take her home
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
