She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
