found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
