My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
