So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
