they need to just BURY HIM!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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