So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
