Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
