Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
