physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
