I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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