soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
