You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
