can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
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