WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
