you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
