no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
