It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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