I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
handjob tips. give me some.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
