He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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