Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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