Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The power of my boobs compel you
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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