mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
