Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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