Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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