I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
