I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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