Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
