sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
