No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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