Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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