How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
