Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
