Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
