i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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