i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
